Tastes Like Chicken

There was a thread recently in one of the blogs that I follow, where readers discussed the virtues of keeping a backyard chicken coop.

Three families that we know have them. They all boast the benefits of keeping chickens. The most obvious is fresh eggs, of course, but other benefits include pest management (think insects and lizards), good fertilizer from their droppings, plus the novelty of having a chicken as a pet.

The downside is that they destroy your yard; plants picked down to nubs, all the grass scratched away to bare dirt, and they will eat anything. This was confirmed by our friend who was barbecuing recently. After repeatedly shooing them away, he eventually had to herd their three chickens back into the coop for their own safety because the chickens kept trying to hop on the grill to steal food.

I asked him what he was cooking and he replied, "Chicken. And not even one of ours! Although with the way they were trying to get at the grill, it very well could have been..."

Go For It

A few weekends ago, I ran a 5k race locally. It began with a hill up the walkway along the beach, and then remained a steady incline until the turnaround.

This race in particular was popular with kids. Good for them, right? But I can tell you that there is nothing more humbling than being passed by an 8-year old.

I struggled a little the first mile and had to fight an impulse to walk. By the turnaround, I had worked it out and ran comfortably hard. For the final stretch of the race, I made my move and ran all out. This was also the time that my iPod slipped from my waistband and fell down inside my running capris. I had no choice but to let it go. So, yes - that was me: the girl crossing the finish line with her hand digging around the crotch of her pants.

I ran an 8.30 minute mile and got to third base with myself.

Russell

In October, I came across a big teddy bear at Costco. Measuring 53", it is one of the largest stuffed animals that I've ever seen. And being Costco, they often have items that appear and then are never ordered again. In anticipation of having one of the best and most stellar Christmas gifts ever and a steal for $28, I purchased it for Girl.
What I didn't consider was where I was going to stash such a giant toy without my kids discovering it for two months. I asked my BFF and her hubby if they'd be willing to keep it for me until the holidays, and they agreed.
On Christmas Eve, I made arrangements to pick up the bear from The Kent, who works in an office building over the mall. Walking through the mall with a stuffed animal the length of my own body was a spectacle. One woman remarked, "Oh my goodness! I bet that bear is bigger than the child receiving it..."
What I didn't know is that after two months, the bear had become a fixture in my friend's home: sharing the bed with guests, making friends and commuting to work. Stories were told of conversations and preferences. He was also named. Internet, meet Russell:
http://www.youtube.com/embed/0HXNzA0zm9o

Unfortunate

A few years ago, my friend was celebrating her 40th birthday with a weekend cruise to Mexico. A group of her friends were going, and many of us had never met. I was to room with one of the women, whom I'd met on only two occasions spread over about 20 years.

As the trip approached, I realized I was having some anxiety about going - more specifically, sharing a room with someone I didn't really know. It took some introspection, but it came down to this: I poo first thing in the morning. First thing.

With a thin, airplane-style door and no fan, there is nothing disguise noises or diffuse odors. Perfume? Too noxious. Matches? Too obvious. Multiple flushes? Dead giveaway with potential clogging risks. My plan was to see if there were public restrooms on the same level, but no luck - they were two levels up and too far to risk it.

I considered being direct, "Hi Kim! Great to see you again! By the way, the first thing I do in the morning is poo. You know, drop the kids off at the pool? Lay some cable? Looking forward to sharing a cabin - it's gonna be great!" In the end, it didn't matter - she was up and gone each of the three mornings before I'd even woken up. Thank heavens for small favors.

To my relief, I have since found a solution: http://www.getyougogirl.com/ Give it a try! I'd love to hear how it comes out for you in the end.

Pure Poetry

We were at the recycling center and the man next to me was standing in the bed of his truck, pouring glass bottles down into the weighing containers. The sound was deafening.

On the drive home, Boy commented that it sounded like 'the glass was screaming.'

Norman Bates vs Metallica

I've heard that Ronnie James Dio, of Black Sabbath fame, made the claim that the 'horns' gesture (index and pinkie fingers extended with thumb tucking middle and ring fingers down) he originated and is so prevalent in the metal world came from his grandmother. My mom confirms that it's called the 'evil eye'.

I find it humorous that a gesture meant to ward off evil spirits found it's way into the metal music community, but there it is. When we were in Hawaii, I confused 'aloha' hands (thumb and pinkie out, remaining digits down and wrist rotated so the back of the hand faces out) with 'metal' hands, so that every photo taken in paradise looks like I'm front row at an AC/CD concert.

On Monday, we took a family trip to Universal Studios. One of the best parts was the tour of the lots where movies and TV shows are filmed. We rode the tram through old western towns (complete with rain and flash floods), Wisteria Lane from the show Desperate Housewives, and a waterfront facade that was used in both Murder She Wrote, starring Angela Lansbury as well as a scene from Jaws.

As the tram pulled around a corner, we came upon a small string of hotel rooms just in time to witness a man coming out of one of the rooms, with a body wrapped in a shower curtain. It was Norman Bates from the Alfred Hitchcock film, Psycho. After he placed the body in the trunk of a waiting car, he 'saw' us and pulled out a knife. Slowly at first, he approached the tram and then moved into a run as we pulled away.

We occupied the last row in the last car, and I can tell you that he was menacing to the very end. We turned in our seats to see Norman Bates, now stopped in the street but still holding his knife, staring intensely right at us. I looked down at Boy to make sure he wasn't totally freaked out, only to see that he was making a small gesture with his hands.

For a horrible parenting moment, I thought he was flipping Norman the bird - which seemed not only rude but unwise. With a small amount of pride, I realized he was gesture was 'metal' hands. Rock on, Norman Bates!

Twenty

"To love and to cherish
To respect and to trust
To be faithful and honest
One day at a time
I will strive to attain
the consciousness of a
spiritual awakening, and
your life will become as
important to me as my own."
August 12, 1990
Happy 20-year wedding anniversary, my love. I love you always.