Neutered

Momma...do I have to?

Before: On our way to the veterinarian, right before we got out of the car. I know intellectually that it's necessary, so why am I so sad? I'll tell you why. Aside from worrying about my chocodile being put under general anesthesia, I will kind of miss Cooper's testicles. They were like two jolly fellows bouncing around between his thighs. It was like a train wreck; you couldn't *not* look. It gave him swagger, sort of like his balls made him a force to be reckoned with...which I suppose is the way nature intended.

Hey! You said I was going to get 'tutored'!

After: 'Um, Momma? YOU SUCK.' Cooper came home tonight groggy, and slept most of the evening. He cried a little before crashing hard under the table by my feet. We all fussed over Cooper, with Mr Doll whispering to him that it was all my doing. 

How's the cell phone reception? Can you hear me now?

This morning: Within thirty minutes after coming out of his crate, Cooper had tore his bonnet. I frantically taped it up with Boydoll's help. I was in tears while I watched him try ripping it off, and then run from me every time I tried to get him to stop. I had visions of him tearing his stitches. Here is the frantic email I sent this morning, looking for a sub to teach my spinning class:

Help!! I am home with our puppy that was neutered yesterday, 

and even with his cone on I cannot leave him alone for a second :(

He has ripped the cone off once already and the limited duct tape 

that I had on hand to repair it is being stripped away. 

If he gets it off, he will tear his sutures in a second.

Please let me know if you can teach my cycle 45 today at 12:15. 

I'll swap classes with you for a future date! I'll buy you lunch! 

I'll be your best friend! Heeeeeelp!

It will be amazing if the bonnet holds up for 10 days, but he finally settled down and stopped fighting the cone by this afternoon. It's been a long day. 

*****

ETA: Despite several duct tape reinforcements, within 36 hours Cooper succeeded in tearing the bonnet off completely. 

Revenge is sweet.

It's come to this. Boom!
Try and get outta that, you little shit.